The endless vacuum that is my child.

Okay I have a couple of kids, so I know about growth spurts, and increased eating habits. I have to tell you though, my ten year old is going to financially ruin me! How the heck does one kid eat so much? This incredible child of mine is eating, and drinking everything in sight. Do I have a quart and a half of raspberry lemonade? I did until 5 minutes ago. Let me just go to the fridge and grab some deli meat for a sandwich. Forget about it! Screw it. I'll have a hot dog. Not so fast my friend. I'm glad hopes and dreams aren't edible, because they'd be gone too. Where the heck is this kid putting this stuff? It's not in the garbage. I keep thinking that one day I'm going to find years and years worth of food stashed under a floor board in my house. I have an older child, but she just wants hot wings and fajitas, and she has a job. My 10 year old is making me rethink about the limiting of child labor in this country. I tell you if this keeps up this kid's gonna have to pitch in! I had a big appetite when I was 10, but a lot of boys do. My kid is a girl!!! For the love of Pete where in the world is she putting it all!

Disney and Mind Control

All I want to know is how the hell Disney does it. They have my kid and countless others hooked on their mindless programs harder than Amy Winehouse on.... well anything. Anyway how the hell do they do it? Those darn shows are all my kid and so many of her friends talk about. I'm afraid to even mention any of the names in case Disney is putting something in the air, and I get some sort of contact high from it. If I had this kind of ability I would be opening up a used car lot somewhere in your neighborhood right now. I know bad parent. I am supposed to keep my kid away from the evils of television. I do trust me I do. Unfortunately the power of the DVR is mightier than my parenting gene. Damn Technology! I never remember being this caught up on a particular channel or tv show as a kid. Okay, sure I got ticked off if I missed an episode of Scooby Doo on Saturday morning (and no anything with Scrappy Doo I missed on purpose), but through therapy I moved on. Is it subliminal messaging? Is it some sort of visual crack? Hell maybe they are just true evil marketing geniuses. Is this all just a stepping stone to some sort of convoluted plot for world domination. No that was the plot of one of their episodes of... Crap they almost had me for a second. Stop your evil mind control Disney, and give us back our kids.